I am currently childless by choice. I want to be married and established in my marriage before the kids come along. I have taken a stand against single- motherhood. I didn't grow up in a single- parent family and I refuse to raise my child I one if I can help it. My mother and father have been married for 28 years and I want that for my children. I saw my mother, aunts, and cousins raised in single- parent homes. It was tough on the mothers and kids, especially if there are multiple children. The mothers have to work to provide because they are the sole bread- winners but the children are left to take care of themselves. Plus, it makes for a harder situation when the fathers don't pay child support. I know I could get married and eventually get divorced because things just didn't work out. But I'm determined to find the man God created just for me before I have children. If I never find that man by age 35, I would consider adoption because I know I would make an excellent mother to some child, if not my own.
Samisha
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Samisha, this is a very responsible, healthy decision to make for yourself. It can be a very difficult lifestyle for both mom or dad and child when raised by only one parent, especially if that parent is not educated and have a well paying job. There are however, very successful families that are raised in a single parent household, but many times, with more struggles than a two parent family. I have 3 daughters that I have routinely emphasized that education comes first and foremost. If by chance they become pregnant and choose to have the child, my husband and I would support them in every way possible so they could finish their education. I want for them to be able to support themselves and any children they have without assistance from the father if need be. Self sufficiency is the key. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteSamisha,
ReplyDeleteYou have taken a very responible outlook on parenthood. Too many women catch "baby fever" and try to get pregnant by anyone without having a plan in-line to care for themselves and the baby. It is best to have all your ducks in a row before you make such a commitment. I agree with Julie...self sufficiency is key!
Samisha,
ReplyDeleteYou are very right when you say that it is hard for a mother to raise their child alone. Speaking from experience because my mother raised me and my sister by herself,but she has done a tremendous job. I also think it is very important for children to be raised in a 2 parent household, but sometimes there is not really much you can do. Also I think being raised in a single parent home is also a lesson, because you see what your parent is going through and you want to do more for yourself so that you will not have to put your child through that.
Samisha,
ReplyDeleteYou are very wise. I am twenty two years old and my son is ten-months-old, today. He was a planned child and my husband and I are very grateful for having him in our lives. I must admit, however, that having a child is a very challenging responsibility. Both my husband and I agree that we wouldn’t be able to do it without each other’s support. It takes a lot more than just time and dedication. I have always had a lot of respect for single parents, but now that I am a mother I have a lot more respect for those who have lost a child and have been able to overcome that loss. My words might not make much sense to you right now, but one day when you have children of your own you will learn that your children become “your life” and “your life” then will have a totally different meaning.
Monica L.
You have made a very wise decision in learning from the environments that you witnessed as a child growing up. I can't imagine the burden being a single mother can be. I applaud women who are able to raise there children alone, it is a job worth commending. I think it takes a special person to take such a responsibility and do the best you can. You will make a great mother some day, and the fact that you have the heart to adopt proves that.
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